Every third Saturday of August my family attends the Scottish Games at Old Westbury Gardens. There is traditional Scottish food, vendors of Scottish goods, events like Caber tossing, highland dancing, a dog show and of course the pipe band marches every hour or so. We go for the "good" Fish and Chips and all of the kids like to hang out together. My mom enjoys it because she sees some old friends. Yesterday, was just like most other times- very crowded and very hot! My husband and older son found refuge in the cafe set up near the wooded area. My cousin races there with her family every year and gets there around 10 a.m. I usually don't get there until around 12 noon (we are not morning people). My brother and his family usually get there just before I do and we take turns bringing my mom. It is usually a pretty relaxing day. Now that the kids are older they tend to go off together and do their own thing. We usually don't see them unless they're hungry and want money for something to eat. Basically yesterday was just like any other time that we have attended the games. Except for at the end of the day when my middle son (the one with the 12 stitches) announced that he would like to sleep at my cousin's house and hang out with her kids. The kids seemed to have schemed this up between themselves. My brother's daughter had already planned to go and my son wanted to join her. My knee jerk reaction was "NO"! My cousin seemed o.k with it, but she already has 4 teenagers of her own plus my niece was previously invited. She certainly didn't argue with me when I said no.I didn't think it would be appropriate for my son to add to the numbers. Now my son is angry with me. I don't know what to do. I don't think he really wanted to sleep over their house. I think he wanted to get away somehow. He really is puzzling me and I struggle to get him to be responsible.
OK, so here is today's affirmation: "Freedom is my divine right. I am free to think wonderful thoughts. I move beyond past limitations into freedom. I am now becoming all that I am created to be."
I am grateful for the freedom to live your dream but I struggle with giving my son all the freedom that he wants. I am grateful that he is a healthy and able person.
My son just wants to be free. But he wants free with no boundaries and that worries me. I would feel more at ease with giving him more freedom if he showed more responsibility and care towards family and school. Can anyone shed some light on this for me?
5 comments:
Teenage boys are variously apes who want to trash things, or apes who want to rub up against all the girls, possibly including their female cousins. I never succeeded, but thought and schemed often about my feamle cousins, every one of them. Teenaage boys are UP to stuff ALL the time!
I had very lenient discipline when I was a teen and as I am older now I wish there had been more discipline and maybe I wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble ;) I definitely think there should be boundaries. Did you explain to him why you said no? He may be thinking that you are punishing him, when really you had your cousin's best interests at heart. All I can say is... Keep the boundaries... It may be a case of delayed gratitude but he will appreciate them later.
Julieanne
Oh... And nothing beats the sound of the bagpipes... It's in our blood you know :)
My son is feeling a little better now and he does understand a little better now why we didn't feel right about letting him sleep at my cousin's house. In fact I think he is kind of glad that he didn't go because he was speaking to his cousin this morning and she must of said something that annoyed him so now he is not too happy with her. Tonight we let him sleep over a friends house. This friend we like very much and his friend's mother has pretty much the same boundaries as we do. We know that he is safe there and there won't be any trouble. That mom will also get him to call me to pick him up early because she will have to go to work in the morning.
Glad to hear it all worked out! I wonder sometimes if I will have the patience when it comes my time be Mum. Hopefully I will be able to tell you all about it in the future :)
Julieanne
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