It's Been A Long Time

Wow! I haven't written on this bog in 4 years. I have to confess that I really felt I was running out of things to write about. But in reality I had loads of things to share but could not bring myself to write about them. My family and I have been on quite a journey these past 4 years. There have been many highs and lows. Unfortunately there were more lows than highs. There have been lay offs, changes in my teaching position, health issues with family members. The biggest and ongoing situation is my middle son's battle with drug addiction. With all of this I struggled to feel gratitude toward anything in my life. With this feeling of emptiness, we fell deeper into a slump. We struggled with our son to get him help. It is difficult to help someone who doesn't want help. This was coupled with my husband being laid off. This is probably when I should have been writing the most and yet I just couldn't bring myself to do it. However, we never gave up. We managed to bring ourselves together and stuck together as a family with great love. That is the one thing that never faultered. I truly believe it is the one thing that has helped us get through everything. My husband now has a great job with great monitory opportunities. Although my son adimently refused rehab, we were able to get him help with a great counselor that he sees every week. He has taken himself off of the misuse of prescription drugs, we are working to get him to stop smoking pot. His school has been supportive in allowing him to complete high school at home by doing the assignments at home. He has completed all of his work on his own with some minimal help. He is scheduled to graduate with his class in June. He hopes to attend a community college in the fall. He has had a couple of jobs but they were temporary and didn't quite work out. Tomorrow he wants me to take him to fill out more applications in the hope of getting another job. All of this is a step in the right direction for him.
We did have a series of good things happen as well. My older son graduated high school in 2010 and has been attending college on a half scholarship. My daughter is now a teenager. She does very well in school and has been on the honor roll many times. She has also been a member of her dance studio's competition team. She has become quite the beautiful dancer.
It has been difficult for us the past 4 years but our love is what got us through it successfully. It is the love that we have for eachother that I am most grateful for. This is what I have come to realize today as I begin to write in my gratitude journal again. I hope to continue and I hope that you will continue this gratitude journey with me. What are you most grateful for? Please share.

Sous Chef Marissa

Today is Columbus Day and of course all of us teachers and students are off from school. YEAH!! Today was a day to catch up on laundry and stuff around the house. I also decided to make a nice big dinner- Eggplant Parm. I took a quick jaunt to the store to pick up some fresh eggplant. When I returned from the store, my daughter Marissa decided that she would help. She wanted to learn how to make it. I was reluctant at first. I sometimes run on the policy that I can do things faster by myself. But I stopped myself from turning her away and let her hang with me and help. I gave her the job of flouring the slices of eggplant. She mastered that pretty well and soon she had graduated to flouring AND dipping in the egg mixture. It took us a while to fry the eggplant but I do think that she helped me go a little faster. Hanging with Marissa in the kitchen brought me back to when I was her age and helped my mom and grandma make dinner. That's how I learned to cook. Hanging out in the kitchen and helping (peeling potatoes, breading chicken breasts, shaking the chicken in the shake-n-bake bag, setting the table). This was a very important part of my growing up. I learned a lot from my mom and grandma and it was a lot more than just cooking. Granted I had to learn my husband's favorites from my mother-in-law (hence- Eggplant Parm.) I think that these moments with our kids are important in their growing up. Not only did we have fun together, but she learned something. She was also very proud of her accomplishment in the making of that meal. When everyone sat down to dinner tonight she made the big proclamation that she cooked the Eggplant. I think she had the biggest piece.

Today's Affirmation:
"I am willing to let go.
I release others to experience whatever is meaningful to them, and I am free to create that which is meaningful to me."

Today I let go of the reigns a little today and let Marissa help with dinner. It was important for her to hang with me and learn something "grown-up". She felt very grown up when claiming credit for tonight's dinner. It was also very meaningful to me to pass my knowledge down to her. Some day she will do the same with her own kids. I was very proud of her today!

When have you let go to let others experience what is meaningful to them and in turn became meaningful to you?

P.S. For those of you who are wondering- I had a great experience at the mall the other day- shopping by myself (AAAHHHH-Bliss!!!) I found a great outfit for the wedding on Saturday. I was a woman on a mission and found something within 1 hour and it was on SALE!!!! I decided not to buy shoes. I couldn't justify spending some sick amount of money for shoes that I will only wear once in a while. I have a pair of shoes that I have hardly worn and will do just fine. I will take pictures at the wedding and post them next week.

Lazy Sunday Morning!

Don't you just love a lazy Sunday morning? This whole weekend has been rather lazy! I love it! We've spent the past many, many weekends going to christenings, showers, birthday parties etc... AAAAHHHH finally a weekend to do nothing. Yesterday as you know I worked on changing the layout of this blog while all the men in the house went to the homecoming game at the High School (we lost :() and then we all went for chinese food for dinner. This morning I woke up around 8:15. Chatted with husband for a bit. He got up and went to the living room to watch the Formula 1 race with older son Michael. I pulled the covers over my head for another half hour. I peeked my head out of the covers and grabbed the laptop to have a look around the blog world for a little while. I got up for about 10 minutes to make coffee and grab a bowl of cereal and then headed back to bed. Sitting up in bed with my cereal and coffee, I turned on the television and flipped around there for a while. Then I called my mom to talk to her for about an hour. Then my husband came back to bed for another chat, followed by daughter Marissa and then middle son Mark. Before you know it all 5 of us were hanging out in our room (kids to big to hop into bed) having a nice chat. I'm getting up now! At 12:15! I sent my husband out for the paper, so I could get the coupons to go grocery shopping. While he's out, I'll jump in the shower. I do need to go grocery shopping. I will at least do that today. But sometimes we all need to just relax and do nothing.
Here is today's affirmation: "Life is simple and easy. All that I need to know at any given moment is revealed to me. I trust myself and I trust life. All is well."

I think the affirmation speaks for itself. Sometimes we just need to relax and reset our clocks.
When was the last time you spent some time to yourself and relax?

Family

"To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."
Confucius
We spent the weekend at a family baptism in Virginia. My husband's nephew and his wife had a baby boy in June. That makes my mother-in-law a great- grandmother and my husband and I a great-uncle and great-aunt. YIKES! That's just too much for me to handle. We packed the kids, the mother in-law and some bags in the car and traveled 5 hours in the car down to Virginia. It was a nice weekend spent visiting with family and enjoying the new baby. My daughter looked pretty in her dress and my boys looked quite dapper in suits!(That's a rare occasion and I took lots of pictures as I may never see them like that again for a long, long, long time!) I really don't have much else to say- We all had a nice time and I'm looking forward to more good times ahead!
Here is today's affirmation: "I am surrounded by people I Love and who Love me.
I am at peace with myself and those around me. I know that I am safe and that I am loved."
This is my definition of family. Even my 14 year old son reconnected himself with the family. I think I'm beginning to see my sonny boy starting to come back to life!
Share with me some of your great family moments. What is your definition of family?

Make A Joyful Noise!

Everyday I walk by our music teacher's classroom a countless number of times. Each time I pass his door I read the banner that he has hanging outside his door. It reads "Make A Joyful Noise". The banner also has a picture of a musical instrument. Everytime I read the banner, I say to myself "I like that saying". The more I read it, the more I begin to see a different meaning to the words written on the banner, other than the meaning of make beautiful music. It made me ask myself, what kind of noise do I make? Am I loud and annoying? Am I angry and shouting? Do I sound unkind? Do I complain and moan? Or do I make a pleasant noise? Am I soft and soothing? Am I reassuring and encouraging? Do I offer hope? Am I easy listening? It seems that "The squeaky wheel always gets the most attention". Why do we give attention to those who complain the most, moan the most yell the most? Everytime we give attention to negative behavior, we get more negative behavior. We keep paying attention to it in the hope that it will shut up and leave us alone. But it never does. The squeaky wheel just keeps on squeaking. Pay attention to negative behavior and we get more negative behavior. I like to live by the saying "You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar". If we pay more attention to the nice noises, we will get more pleasing sounds. It's pleasing to the ear. Makes us feel good inside. Encourages us to do more for eachother. It makes us pleasant to be around. We wouldn't want to shut eachother up and make people go away. So think to yourself. Do you make a joyful noise?
Today's Affirmation Reads: "I experience love wherever I go. Love is everywhere, and I am loving and lovable. Loving people fill my life, and I find myself easily expressing love to others."
Make a joyful noise everyday and your cup will runneth over with love!

It's That Time of Year Again!

The air is getting cooler. Night time is creeping in earlier everyday. The kids are going into their homes a little earlier each night. Supply lists are coming in the mail. Teachers are preparing their classrooms. Yes, it's back to school time again. As a mom I'm thrilled. I need the kids to go back to school- they're eating me out of house and home! As a teacher I'm dragging my feet just like the kids. I enjoy the summer just as much as the kids. I sleep late, stay up late, just like the kids. Thinking back on the events of the summer, I have much for which to be grateful. We spent a beautiful week in Puerta Vallarta, Mexico. Although my mother-in-law spent some time in the hospital, she is fine and working towards a complete recovery. I had the great opportunity to teach computers to 3rd graders at Science Camp for 1 week. I took a class with my colleagues through Columbia University and received graduate credit at the expense of my school district. I am most grateful for the shift in behavior my 14 year old son has made. He learned a very valuable lesson while attending summer school. That lesson is that he did not like going to school in the summer and will do his best to not have to go next summer. He had many ups and downs throughout the summer. His behavior was quite challenging this summer. Through much love and devotion I, my husband and the family showed for him, he is now responding to his boundaries with acceptance rather than opposition. He showed quite a shift at dinner tonight. While my husband was at a dinner meeting, the kids and I went out for dinner together. Tonight was the first night in a long time that my son did not complain about going out with us, where we were going or eating or rush us so that he could go out with friends after. He actually smiled, laughed and participated in the conversation without spending most of the time texting on his phone. Yeah! I think that we have finally cracked his surface. I know that my fiesty little boy is coming back to us. I know that his new expedition to high school will be challenging but I know he will conquer it and live to the potential that he has. I know now that his talents will now blossom. This is a new school year in a new school. The slate is wiped clean for us all and I know that we will be successful.

Today's Affirmation Reads: "There is plenty for everyone including me. The ocean life is lavish with its abundance. All my needs and desires are met before I even ask. My good comes from everywhere and everyone and everything."

We will enter this new school year with the eagerness to be the best we can be. To excell to new heights. These great accomplishments will bring us the abundance of all that this universe has to offer.

Share your thougths and goals for the new school year.

18 Years of Love and Happiness!

Yesterday (8/19/08)my husband and I celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary. Yup, my birthday and anniversary usually gets wrapped up in one long couple of days of celebrating (extra time on the treadmill again this morning). Sometimes we spend our anniversary just the two of us, but yesterday we decided to take kids in tow. We decided to visit one of our favorite haunts, NYC. We started off at SouthStreet Seaport and then walked to Little Italy for dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, Paesanos. NYC has an energy like no other place I've ever experienced. The people, the places, the streets, the smells are all energized to the max. I guess that's what draws us there so often. As we were walking from SouthStreet to Little Italy (longer walk than we anticipated)I was remembering what I was doing 18 years before. I was primping for the most memorable and probably the most important day of my life. I wore a beautiful white gown and veil. I had a professional photographer photographing every move I made. I rode in a white limousine to the church and then to the reception. It rained cats and dogs that day but to me it was the most beautiful day in my 26 years. Yesterday, I wore capris and my black croc flipflops but that's ok I was with the most important people in my life and that is all that matters. We had a great dinner and nice stroll around downtown. It was a great day and it has been a wonderful 18 years. I look forward to decades more! All of these feelings and events from my birthday to my anniversary ties in very nicely with the affirmations for yesterday and today!
Yesterday's Affirmation: "I am safe in the universe and all life loves and supports me.I breathe in the fullness and richness of life. I observe with joy as life abundantly supports me and supplies me with more good than I can imagine."
I truly felt a great sense of abundance yesterday and still do today. I felt full of the richness of life walking through the streets of NYC and spending time with those that I hold closest to my heart.
Today's Affirmation: "I am beautiful, and everybody loves me. I radiate acceptance, and I am deeply loved by others. Love surrounds me and protects me." Although it's back to laundry and all of the other household chores, it is a beautifully warm, sunny day today. My husband is back to work, the kids are occupied in some way or another and I am happy sitting here writing to all of you. I am very grateful to have such wonderful opportunities that allow me to share all that moves me and all that I care about.
What makes you feel safe, love and accepted?

Queen For A Day No More!

I just want to say thank you to all of the nice birthday wishes that were extended to me yesterday. I really had a nice and relaxing day. I was "Queen for the Day" as everyone waited on me hand and foot. My husband prepared a great dinner and my family came by. After dinner and cake, we lit a fire in the firepit on the patio and sat around the fire for a while. Today my reign as queen has ended. I hopped on the treadmill this morning (too much cake) and all was back to normal.

Ok-here is today's affirmation: "My work is deeply fulfilling. Today I give my best to that which I do, knowing that when one experience is complete, I am led to even more fulfilling and rewarding experiences." Being a teacher, I don't work in the summer. So my job during the summer months is reduced down to that of mother and wife, instead of mother, wife and teacher. I get to take off one of my hats for 2 months. The job of mother and wife can be very fulfilling! I feel fulfilled when my kids excel at something or when faced with a social challenge they make a good choice and do what is right and not necessarily what is popular. My husband and I have a very close relationship and we work together to raise the kids. He truly is my best friend. Tomorrow we will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. It has been a very fulfilling 18 years. I feel very blessed to have such a loving family. We encounter many challenges but we work through them together. We know that when one task is complete, we will be led to another experience and we will tackle it together and grow from each experience that we encounter. In a couple of weeks I will put my teacher hat back on and I am looking forward to a new year with my students. I know that each day will be rewarding for them and me. Together we will grow and learn. They will make great strides during the school year and I am always so proud of all of their accomplishments.

How does your job fulfill you? I would love to know how you face challenges and create rewarding experiences with whatever you do.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday! Today I am feeling grateful for all of the wonderful birthdays I had as a child growing up. I have fond memories of my mom and dad and family doing everything they could to make my day very special. I didn't have lavish parties and the celebrations usually included my mom, dad, brother and grandparents. But those small celebrations were grand to me. I remember that my mom used to wrap everything in individual boxes to make it seem to me that I got tons of things. She probably could have put everything in one box or gift bag and called it a day. But she wanted me to unwrap as many things as possible. As I got older, I had many friends who used to take me out for a night on the town and that was such a great memory.
As the years past I got married and had children. My grandparents and dad have past on, my brother has his own family and friends have drifted apart. My mom still does everything she can to make my day special. Sometimes we go out to lunch. But the pile of gifts has been reduced a gift card inside a birthday card. Today I am grateful for my wonderful husband who right now is out with my daughter scurring around town gathering things for another small family celebration. I am happy that my older son has cleaned his room that he shares with his younger brother. I am happy that my middle son has so far chosen to spend the day at home rather than out with friends. My mother-in-law is returning home today from her visit with her daughter in Virginia. My mom will come over later. I am grateful for a small barbeque(because that is all that my husband can cook- in fact he is quite good at it) and cake and a nice fire going in the firepit. I don't need lavish parties and piles of gifts! I am grateful for the love that surrounds me today. The greatest gift is all of the things that my family is doing for me to try to make my day special.
So, today's affirmation is quite appropriate for today. It reads "My future is glorious. I now live in limitless love, light, and joy. All is well in my world." Today is first day of my new birth year and it will be my best year yet. I look forward to all the wonderful experiences that will come to me this year!

Loving Others is Easy When I Love and Accept Myself

Today's affirmation: "Loving others is easy when I love and accept myself. My heart is open. I allow my love to flow freely. I love myself. I love others and others love me." I struggle with this one today. I love many people and I open myself up to others and I encourage others, but many days I do not do this for myself. I love others, but beat myself up for many different things. If anyone can help me with this, I would appreciate it. Can't wait to hear from you all.

I Am Worth Loving

Today's affirmation states: "I do not have to earn love. I am lovable because I exist. Others reflect the love I have for myself." It's quite funny how each card that I randomly pull from the deck each day are appropriate for what is happening in my life. My middle son is a typical 14 year old who can be quite defiant. He and I have been working on our relationship. He thinks he is an adult and can do whatever he wants and I of course know that he has many years of maturing to do before he can have such freedoms. I spent most of last night sleepless and asking God and the universe for an solution to bring him and I to an even balance. As soon as awoke I pulled a card from the deck and it says "I am worth loving". There was my solution. We are all worth loving. The situation with my son can only be resolved with LOVE. The more I tell him he is loved, the more likely he is to show love and respect towards those that love him. I asked him to pull a card for himself. After he looked at me funny, he curiously chose a card. Ironically his card read " I balance my masculine and feminine sides." "The masculine and feminine sides are in perfect balance and harmony. I am at peace, and all is well." This comes after we had a talk about creating a better balance in his life! Wow! I left it for him to think about. A few minutes later he leaves with a friend. I walked into his room- his bed was made and his clothes were picked up and I didn't have to call him back into the room because he missed something. This was truly a small miracle that has occurred in our household!